Astonishing Archaeology Findings in New Toulouse Friday, May 14 2010 

After reading about the recent archaeological finds in Caledon, New Toulouse’s amateur archaeologist has made an astounding find of his own.

It seems that while excavating near the west end of the Connolly Aerodrome, Mr. Phineas Messmer found telephone cable at a depth of one foot. Upon reporting his find, Caledonian archaeologists determined that a fully functional telephone system was present in Caledon fifty years ago, thus predating the invention of the telephone by Mr. Alexander Graham Bell.

As the excavation continued, a telegraph cable at a depth of two feet led those same archaeologists to conclude that Caledon had a functioning telegraph system one hundred years ago, long before the supposed telegraph invention of Mr. Samuel F. B. Morse.

Intrigued by these discoveries, New Toulouse’s own Henri Godenot carefully sifted the soil in his yard while planting new crepe myrtles. At a depth of exactly three feet, he found precisely nothing.

Mr. Godenot is proud to report his conclusions, namely that over 150 years ago, New Toulouse had gone wireless.

~Hank Ohgodno

Originally published on February 6, 2009.

Poetry Corner Friday, May 14 2010 

New Toulouse

The Chime and the Frog

The chime and the frog
Toll over the souls,
Candles and flowers,
Portraits and liquor bottles.
In homage to what used to be
The crickets trill in memory.
Secrets buried with coffin nails,
Specters of Goth walk midnight trails.
The fearful quicken their steps some
Past gates that yawn in welcome.
Cool, dark tombs of quiet bones,
Eventually we all come home.

Karima Hoisan
Feb. 5, 2009
New Toulouse Cemetery

Originally published on February 6, 2009.

New in New Toulouse: How a Voodoo Queen Found Her Crossroads Friday, May 14 2010 

It all started when I was about five. My father was a big James Bond fan, and I was in turn a big fan of my father’s, making me a tiny Bond fan too. One Christmas Day, my dad and I settled down to watch the first TV screening of Live and Let Die, and I was smitten.

My mother always had a keen interest in the darker side of life, including the taboo religions and the Tarot. She is part Gypsy and has a romantic fascination with the mystical. Consequently she has a lot of books. I started to read about Voodoo, and I was particularly fascinated with Baron Samedi. I started to read about its history and origins, and I watched all the films and documentaries, but being from a big city in England, I didn’t really have access to the atmosphere I felt when I watched, say, Angel Heart or Crossroads, or felt the fear of The Serpent and the Rainbow. I could almost smell the humidity, feel the charged air. I wanted my funeral to be a jazz funeral; I wanted Mardi Gras every day. I knew my heart was in New Orleans and decided to move there someday. Then disaster struck.

Hurricane Katrina all but destroyed New Orleans, and my heart and the city’s heart were broken, but I knew that its spirit was not broken, nor its culture and history, and that it would rise again. Last year I went to visit my best friend in Atlanta. I could smell the South in the air, and I knew that I was home, and I plan to move there next year, closer to my dream.

In a strange kind of parallel, I got that same feeling when I first landed in New Toulouse. I was advised by a gentleman in Caledon that I might like it here, and so I came to have a look-see and fell in love with it. I bought land immediately and was amazed by the friendliness and warm welcome of the people here. I have found a home in SL that allows me to live out the life that has been calling me in RL for over thirty years.

In New Toulouse, this Mama has found her way home.

~Louhi Gothly
Originally published on January 23, 2009.

Huge Pileup onRue de Rhum Friday, May 14 2010 

A prominent unnamed resident was involved in a multi-car pileup on Rue de Rhum late last Tuesday night. He drove his vehicle into Miss Carricre Wind’s truck, and a few minutes later, he was struck by the streetcar. Unhurt, he walked two doors down to his house, but not before delivering a fantastic story:

“I was driving home from Karima’s Bar, nothing special, when I saw this black form peeking into windows. A furtive little thing, dark, maybe two, three feet tall. Not a zombie, thank God, like those poor people in Algiers have to deal with. This was more like a raccoon.

“A few weeks ago, one of my neighbors said she was spied on while changing, and I thought I had caught the little peeping woolly bugger red-handed.

“Well, I nearly ran him down with my car, but he dodged behind Mama Cree’s bar, and I accidentally drove into her truck. As I was pulling myself out of the wreckage, the damn streetcar piled into me.”

The wreckage is gone now, and the damage has been repaired. But a few questions remain. Should we allow these idiots to drive around after dark? What about this alleged dark peeper? What exactly was it that he saw?

~Hank Ohgodno

Originally published on January 22, 2009.

Shantz: Man About Town Friday, May 14 2010 

It’s not about me, silly—it’s about the town. I will be visiting various establishments in New Toulouse and reporting on my impressions.

Today I am in the Faculty Tea Room located on Ruelle Royale adjacent to William Wilberforce Community Park on the campus of YB Academy in New Toulouse. I walk up the stairs to the second floor above the gallery. Reaching the top, I gaze around the room, noticing the circular carpets and exquisitely designed wicker furniture, which immediately expresses a pleasant and comfortable atmosphere. As I stroll across the room to the refreshment table, I notice the handsomely textured green walls contrasting with the brown furniture.

Making my selection from the lemonade and iced tea on the table, I cut a slice of the Black Forest cake and make myself comfortable in one of the cushioned chairs. Gazing around the room, I see on the back wall pictures of chairs that you can wear. Well, by George (not actually by George but by Canolli Capalini), they are freebies! The room opens to a balcony where you can sit on the swing or a chair and bask while overlooking the park.

Well, I have enjoyed my visit to the Faculty Tea Room. I now return to Algiers to make print. Enjoy, everyone!

~Shantz Hawker

Originally published on January 22, 2009.

Ask Miss LilyDay Friday, May 14 2010 

Dear Miss LilyDay,

Do I always have to use the blue poseballs?

~Blue in New Tou

Dear Blue in New Tou,

Speakin’, a’course, from the bowels of the South, the swamps that we call home here in New Toulouse, I must give you this advice:

Dance on any damn ball you want. Besides, who knows what gender is on the other side of the av? But should you still fret over this, let the female choose first. Should she choose the blue poseball herself, count yourself lucky, throw caution to the winds, and run off and partner that girl! And for Pete’s sake, put on a dress.

~Miss LilyDay

***
Send your questions to Miss LilyDay by dropping a notecard named “Ask Miss LilyDay” into the mailbox outside the newspaper office.

Originally published on January 22, 2009.

Mama Said: A Chat with Carricre Wind Friday, May 14 2010 

Just after sitting down to begin this interview, Carricre Wind stands up and produces a shotgun. “Ah, hell,” she says and goes across the patio to dispatch a zombie that has just rounded the corner of the café. She receives some appreciative comments from the folks sitting around and having coffee (“Nice shotgun!” “Quick draw!”) as she makes her way back to the table.

Carricre Wind—known as Mama Cree among the residents of New Toulouse—made that gun herself. A nicely detailed and scripted double-barreled model, she gave it away to the locals for Valentine’s Day. Someone nearby asks about her trademark white snake, Basil, whom she usually wears as a sort of living shawl. Mama Cree tells him that Basil is the reincarnation of her dear, departed real-life pet, Thorn.

Asked how New Toulouse got its start, she says, “I believe you could call its start the old half sim I used to rent in Endless Destruction. I had built a little swamp next to the big hill that I had there. The whole place was sort of a beat-up Romanesque thing, and my friend Void Singer suggested I build a mansion in the swamp, so I built the building that is Rottoway and sort of just kept tinkering with the theme. A few terraforms and several more buildings later, people started to ask if I rented. Well, didn’t want to rent there, so … I started booking,” she says, grinning. “Void’s version of egging was along the lines of ‘Bet you a dollar you can’t do it’—which is, of course, the best way to get me to do something.”

Adding residents with ideas of their own created a whole new mix, and the evolution of New Toulouse surprised her. “I’m shocked that it stayed as close to my original idea as it has. Quite pleased about that too. I built two sims for Desmond Shang of Caledon, and seriously, within a week they were completely transformed into, well, um … crap.”

To Mama Cree, New Toulouse is “comfortable.” She didn’t return to New Orleans to research when building for the sim. “It’s all outta my head,” she says, smiling. She smiles a lot when talking about New Toulouse.

Carricre Wind calls herself a “tech-head” and a “graphics junkie.” Over two years ago, she read an article on Slashdot about the processor company AMD holding a board meeting in Second Life. “I’d never heard of it before, but as I’m reading the comments on the story, I see that nearly every gamer nerd on Slashdot hates hates hates SL. Well, I hate games usually, so I reasoned if they disliked it, and AMD liked it enough to hold a board meeting, I’d give it a go. Been hooked since.”

What keeps her here? The food? The weather? The bling? “It’s building stuff, and scripting stuff. 3D graphics is my utter passion—been doing it since high school. I love it, and frankly, I 3D model like most people doodle.”

This is utterly true. I’ve seen her “doodle” a miniature hearse right on the café table, incredibly quickly. No doubt it won’t be long before we see her roaring around town in the completed version.

Her decision to sell New Toulouse was a hard one. “Amazingly so, and I kept putting it off, too. When I first started to go out of pocket, which was surprisingly early on, I didn’t mind at all, ’cause I loved what was being done here by folks. But time rolled on, RL money issues crept in, and I figured it was time to turn the business side of it over to someone with a clue. Hell, if I could afford it, I’d just pay the tier myself every month and let everyone stay for free, but that ain’t happenin’.”

When she sent out the message saying that New Toulouse would have to be sold, she got surprisingly few responses from the residents, “which made me feel better. Was sure everyone would hate me.” She did hear from a lot of potential buyers “that were, well, idiots who just wanted cheap sims.” A few people offered to give her a bail-out so she could keep the sims. “But I didn’t want to do that unless I had to, ’cause I know me—I’d end up back at the same spot again. I’m way too eager to let rent slide for nearly everyone if they need it. So I was about to accept one of those when Miz Gabi [Gabrielle Riel] contacted me.”

Saved by the Riel, I suggest. “Too right,” she says, smiling. “And frankly, I think she’s the best thing for it. Known her forever and trust her bunches.”

In real life, she will probably be on her way to Mississippi around the time of Mardi Gras, and she might get to swing through New Orleans. “That whole part of the world will inspire me. Just hearing bugs at night will be enough,” says Mama Cree with another big grin.

Asked what she would like to see in New Toulouse that hasn’t yet happened, she laughs. “Well, that could be a long list! For starters, four more sims.” But that probably won’t happen for a while. “I need to build the ferry still. Would love to remake the streetcar. More gators, perhaps a few muggings, buskers …”

At the next table, a longtime resident wonders aloud why we can’t just let artists and buskers set up in the square. Mama Cree answers, “Oh, I think the market doesn’t get used as much as I had hoped. So since I will soon be shopless, I may well use it.” Of course she will be staying in town as a builder. “And a tavern owner,” she says, smiling.

Another zombie shambles around the corner of the café. Mama Cree sighs, raises her gun, and aims.

Photo credits: Henri Godenot, Gwynn Blackburn

Originally published on January 21, 2009.

New Tou’s Most Wanted Friday, May 14 2010 

New Taloo Crimewatchers needs your help! Please be on the lookout for these shady characters:

Originally published on January 20, 2009.

Photo Contest: The Soul of New Toulouse Friday, May 14 2010 

No one can capture the soul of New Toulouse, so you might as well give up now.

Still here? You qualify.

We at the New Toulouse Tattler want to see photographs taken in New Toulouse and New Toulouse Algiers. Photos can include people or not, and they can be raw SL snapshots or processed after taking. Enter by joining the Tattler group on Flickr and adding your photos to the pool:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/tattler/

We will close entries on January 31, and a panel of judges (Karima Hoisan, LilyDay Darkstone, and Henri Godenot) will review them all and select winners based on artistic merit and how well the images represent the spirit of New Toulouse.

* Grand prize: L$1,200 cash
* Second prize: L$500 cash
* Third prize: L$300 cash

Plus all who submit at least one photograph will be entered into a drawing for one of these prizes from local merchants:

* A gorgeous outfit from Dany’s French Touch (male or female)
* A L$250 gift certificate from Grimalkin Workshop

So get out there and explore the scenic corners of New Tou! Here are the starting points for the two regions:

Laveau Square, New Toulouse
New Toulouse Algiers Train Depot

Good luck!

—Nikita Weymann, editor, for the Tattler staff

PS: Many thanks to Bedlamie Thunders and Karima Hoisan for providing funds for the cash prizes.

Originally published on January 13, 2009.

From the Editor’s Desk Friday, May 14 2010 

The modern newspaper editorial is a dud. It has no pep and less vitality. It is just words, words, words. Few read it, and none pay it attention or give it heed. That is why I have agreed to write one.

Many recent changes have come to town—the terrible conflagration in Algiers, the sudden influx of new visitors, the increase in musical offerings, the shakeup in city government. We believe that change is good, generally, and we see a bright future for New Tou.

We look forward to the proposed new rail line to the town of Edison, in no small part because that picturesque burg is some years in the past and thus immune to the Volstead law. There is also talk of the establishment of a working ferry between the City of New Toulouse and the Right Bank, which would mean that this editor would no longer need to rely on her elephant as transportation to the Big Smoke.

When the city was going through a dark time, a certain redheaded firebrand said, “We should raise up! And save our beloved community! We ain’t liquored up and armed for nothing, gosh darn it!” That got me a little teary-eyed, because it was so very Taloosian.

This is a paper for Taloosters, by Taloosters. If you live or work here, you are officially invited to be a contributor, whether as a columnist, a tipster, the writer of a one-off piece, or a submitter of silly want ads. From the ridiculous to the sublime, we want it all.

We ain’t liquored up and armed for nothing, gosh darn it.

Originally published on January 13, 2009.

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